They're Back!

Finally, the last chick is out of the nest! We can go out whenever we want. We can arrange the rooms to our liking. We watch what we want on TV. We can pretend we are newlyweds again....

But, more often than not, I'm hearing of kids having to come back home. Maybe they are in between schools. Maybe they lost their job. Maybe...maybe...maybe... There are umpteen reasons to need a place to stay, and home is the easiest and probably the best.

It's not easy to be a parent of an adult child at home. The rules of childhood have changed. They are making decisions on their own. They usually have their own car. Their schedule is different. It's almost like having a boarder living in your upstairs bedroom, but not quite.

I think there should be some ground rules set, things that are just common courtesy. The adult child should let you know what time they will be coming in, if they will be home for supper. They should do their own laundry, plus other household chores such as mowing or dishes. They should buy some of the food, especially if they prefer particular snacks or special brands. (Perhaps, you could designate a certain shelf for their food.) They might pay some rent or the electric bill, to help with the expenses.

They should also repect your freedom and independence. You should be able to live your own life, without having to be at their beck and call. They can fix their own meal or buy it. They shouln't need you to be there all the time.

It's hard for a parent to be quiet, not to jump in and help their child out of difficult situations or give too much advice. This time should be a time of growing, of learning to be independent...but with someone nearby, just in case they need you.

It can also be a time of enjoying your child as an adult, as a friend. I've enjoyed playing games or watching a movie with my adult kids. You can discuss politics, spiritual questions, economics, recipes, etc. It's different than teaching a youngster, it's being able to talk with them as a grown person, with a little education and experience.

Lord, keep teaching me how to be a good parent, even when my babies have grown. I need you to guide my lips and strengthen my patience. I need you, my Heavenly Father. I'm still learning too. Amen


Anonymous said...

"This too shall pass" haha

Laury said...

This is a hard time of transition for all involved. Thank you for sharing this, Vonnie.


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