Friday Fiction "Ant or Aunt"

Friday Fiction is being hosted by Catrina Bradley this week. Be sure to check it out for more good stories.


~ ANT OR AUNT ~
(to be read aloud)


Way up north, in the far corner of our country, there lives a strange breed of folk. Their speech throws you back to a time when language had more rhythm and rhyme, not normally like you and me. You wonder if it’s still English.

They say they’re headin’ downeast, but on the map it looks more north to me. And speaking of north, they drop the “r” and call it “nawth”, putting that “r” at the end of “potater”. They laughed at me when I told them that Ant Donna from the South was planning to visit me soon.

“Ya mean yer Awnt Donner is coming t’visit you. She don’t have six legs!”

Now, you must know that Ant Donna…I mean Awnt Donner…is a city girl, not caring for a hike in the woods. She dusts off a rock before taking a rest and screams at dragonflies and moths. I love her to death, but it’s so much fun to laugh behind her back when squeals and shivers and shudders at the things we see everyday.

We showed the pond, where the salamanders live, and the coop where the chickens lay their eggs. We showed her the cows, of course taking the path that led to the back pasture lot. Ant Donna…I mean Awnt Donner…was hot and needed to pause to take in the view of the farm. She inspected the log before sitting down and waved her hat back and forth.

As a small trail of black dots climbed to attack the monster that trampled their nest, my neighbor poked my side and whispered, “I can tell yer Awnt Donner is a flatlander, t’sit on an anthill like that. Oooooh, those bites are shor goin’ t’ smawt. A’nt yer goin’ t’tell yer Awnt Donner that a warsh of cold watah would feel wicked good, to ease the sting of them ants?”

I thought I had learned this strange type of talking, but I looked at my neighbor with a silly blank look on my face. The sounds bounced around in my head for a minute. I know he expected an answer from me. But I couldn’t make heads or tails of the words he had spoken. Which was the “Ant” or the “Awnt” ?

I’m sure they don’t speak English up here!

7 comments:

Stina Rose said...

Thank you for this humerous story. I have always called my aunt "ant"...it wasn't until I married that I had an "awnt"...and I just found out yesterday that I have an accent... :)

S.C.(S.Harricharan) said...

LOL! How funny! I loved the ant vs. awnt. The funny part is I say "ant"...it just sounds better. Heehee...

The Surrendered Scribe said...

You just nailed this, I love it. I'm an "ant" by the way...

Patty Wysong said...

To this day, I cannot say Ant Terry or Ant Anyone Else, it's still awnt and I still get teased for it! I gave up correcting my nephews (who, btw, know the CORRECT way to pronounce the word!!) and I do respond to Ant Patty, but it's with a silent protest that I do. LoL Fun one, Vonnie!

Treasure Seeker said...

As an Aunt who pronounces it ant....
I say that is "good stuff"!

Catrina Bradley said...

How fun! I love the dialect - and the mc's consternation. Great story!

Joanne Sher said...

I say ANT too - and this made me laugh just as much this time as when I read it at FW. Thanks for getting me to giggle, Vonnie!

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