"The Annual Christmas Fruit Cake Bake-Off"

Patty from Patterings has allowed me to host Friday Fiction this week. Be sure to check out the names at the end of this post to read more wonderful stories. If you wish to join us, add your name and a link to your blog.

The Annual Christmas Fruit Cake Bake-Off Gala

“Good evening. This is Cheri Bing, reporting for WHIP, in Quince Valley, Florida. I am standing outside the Capitol Convention Building, where we are expecting much to be happening here tonight. The Annual Christmas Cake Bake-Off and the State Christmas Gala are being held in the same hall because of a scheduling dilemma.

“Tables are loaded with exquisite displays of culinary creations: a Black Forest Cherry Cake, a Festive Eggnog Cake, an Orange Marmalade Noel Cake, a Chocolate Yule Log, a Jewel Fruit Cake, and even a Coconut Cookie Tree. Band music is filling the air, and dignitaries are arriving by limousines. What a grand event this will be!

“Here is Miss Linda Emmon, wife of Senator Meringue, arriving now, dressed in a yellow chiffon gown, topped with fluffy white stole.

“Hello, Miss Emmons, could you tell us what you think of the Bake-Off and Gala occurring at the same time?”

“It’s an outrage! To think that we have to mingle with restaurant chefs and ordinary cooks. It’s enough to give me the shivers!”

“Thank you, Miss Emmons. Let’s go inside to get some other opinions. Here is someone in a dark plum outfit near the food tables.

“Excuse me, Ma’am. Could you tell me your name and what brings you here, tonight, the Bake-Off or the Gala?”

“My name is Candace Dumpling. I’m just here for the excitement. I love Christmas puddings, but I think any kind of cake or pie is scrumptious. I could just sit in a corner and eat one all by myself. Oh, this is so much fun! Did you know that because of the double scheduling, anyone can come…no invitations needed?”

“So, do you know any of the Cake Contestants?”

“Oh, yes, there’s George over there. He’s a peach, but a little young for me to date; still got fuzz on his chin…hee, hee!”

“What’s the name of the band?”

“That’s The Concords! Aren’t they great? They’re whining, though, because they are squeezed into the corner and have to share the stage with The Pomegranate Ensemble, a foreign group for the Gala.”

“Well, thank you, Miss… oh, there she goes… Well, let’s talk to one of the cake contestants, Chef Ping Apple.

“Hello, Sir, what do you think of the competition tonight?”

“It’s quite a crowd all right! I hope things stay organized. I’ve spent twenty-three full hours working on my nine-layer cake. ‘Twould be a shame if anything happened to it.”

“So you think you’ve got a good chance of winning?”

“Yes, Ma’am. I even brought my Granny, Ida Smith. It’s her recipe, and when I get the blue ribbon, I want to share it with her.”

“Well, that’s very considerate of you…and you, Ma’am, do you think he’ll win?”

“Hi, Dear. Yes, I think he has a good chance. My grandson may seem prickly on the outside, but he’s got a sweet inner core.”

“Thank you, Mr. Ping Apple and Granny Smith. Now, I hear the music changing. It sounds like the Holiday Mixer Waltz. The floor is filled with swirling dresses of all colors: raspberry, cranberry, lime green, tangerine, and blueberry.

“The Pomegranate Ensemble is now playing the Mango Tango. A couple dressed in black is strutting shoulder to shoulder across the floor, amid flickering specks of light. Wow! Look at them dip! What a pair!

“Anna Chiquita, dressed in a cream-colored skirt and satin slippers, is now singing ‘Feliz Navidad’, with The Pomegranates playing and people singing along.

“Now the Concord band has started playing ‘Holiday Hoe-Down Cobbler.’ The crowd is really getting into a party spirit. I think I better back out of the way. I can hardly hear myself, with all the clapping and foot stomping.

“Oh, no! Percy Simmons, with his sequined tuxedo, has backed into Mandy Rin, in the orange Chinese kimono. With her arms flailing, she’s trying to catch her balance, but grabs the edge of the tablecloth instead. Oh, no! There goes Chef Ping Apple’s nine-layer cake! It’s falling! It’s upside-down on the floor. He’s not too happy. Oh, I hope this doesn’t end in people throwing punches. I think it’s time for me to sign off.

“This is Cheri Bing, from station WHIP, in Quince, Florida. Merry Christmas!”


Dee Yoder said...

Oh my goodness! Is there a foodie play-on-words left after this one, Vonnie? So funny and "sweet". That's the kind of event I'd like to go to! Very clever, Girl.

Joanne Sher said...

Remember and LOVE this one. So clever and fun!

Patty Wysong said...

ROFL--I loooooove this one! I giggled through it the first time and again this time! This is a deLISHously delightful story!

Hoomi said...

Having watched plenty of cooking competitions on the Food Network, this one was especially enjoyable, particularly with all the puns. They'll take away my puns when they pry them from my cold, dead, keyboard!

Anonymous said...

This story is so clever and funny! Sunny

Treasure Seeker said...

how creative!

i didn't know a meme like this existed! i am so excited!

thanks for sharing!


LauraLee Shaw said...

This is awesome, Vonnie. WAyyyy too clever!

Sherri Ward said...

Sweet and clever! Needs some background music - although I could almost "hear" it anyway!

Lynn Squire said...

I love it!

Shirley said...

Oh wow... you are SO creative! This was awesome!

babbsela said...

What a delightful story! I love your sense of humor.

BethL said...

I love your creativity with this! What a fun thing, a "Fruit Cake Bake-Off". I'm sure it would rival the "Chili Bake-offs" some communities have. :) I actually LOVE fruitcake, but never have any. :)

Josh said...

Haha! I loved this piece when I had first read it on FaithWrtiers! So glad you re-posted it here for me to read again. So many witty puns here. :)

By the way, I am doing something that I really should have done a long time ago. I thought I had your blog linked on my blog, but now that I'm looking, I guess I didn't. I'm adding a link right now though. :)

Stina Rose said...

I loved your play-on-words. What fun!


Related Posts with Thumbnails