"Dear Vonnie" Parent- Teacher Difference

Each Saturday, I will do my best to answer any questions you may throw at me. I don't pretend to be an expert, but I know it's not easy being a wife and mother. It can be frustrating and discouraging, yet very rewarding. I'd be glad to listen to you, pray for you, and share some of my thoughts with you.

So, ask me something... anything... **Contact Me**



Dear Vonnie,

How do you deal with when your child's teacher and your child give you different versions of an incident?

Signed,
Torn


When a child starts stepping out into the world,going to school or playing over at a friends' house, when he is experiencing different situations than he might at home, he learns how to deal with other authorities and personalities. This is part of his maturing and building of his character.

Sometimes your child may find himself at odds or put into a situation that is uncomfortable. Maybe he doesn't like what he is asked to do. Maybe he doesn't think it's right. Maybe he's just having trouble with what is being expected of him. Whatever it is, there is going to be a disagreement.

First of all, talk to your child everyday about his life. Some kids are talkative and want to tell you every detail. Others don't think about school as soon as they drop their backpacks at the door. But, prompt him to talk.

I sometimes played a simple game. I'd ask, "What was the best thing that happened today? What was the worst thing that happened?" That way you get a little glimpse of their problems and joys of their day.

When something is bothering them, you may get more of their feelings and opinions of a story than the truth. Listen. Don't give judgement yet. Talk to the teacher or parent or whoever was there. Listen to them, but still don't jump to conclusions. The adult doesn't always know the whole story.

Talk to your child again, with the facts from the teacher. If there is a dicrepancy, you need to emphasize to your child the value of telling the truth. You know your child. You can tell when they really mean what they say. Believe them until you have proof of dishonesty. (Read this post: Love is Believing
Pray with your child about having wisdom to deal with the problem. They need to know that God can help in this area of their life, too.

Depending on the situation, you need to decide on a workable solution. Sometimes, it's giving in to something that is not easy or comfortable. Sometimes, it's forgiving someone who has hurt his feelings. Sometimes, it's talking to the teacher and apologizing or working out a suitable agreement.