Dear Vonnie - Teaching Chivalry

Each Thursday, I will do my best to answer your questions. I don't pretend to be an expert, but I know it's not easy being a wife and mother. It can be frustrating and discouraging, yet very rewarding. I'd be glad to listen to you, pray for you, and share some of my thoughts with you.



Dear Vonnie,
How do you raise your sons to respect women when most women don’t even respect themselves with their immodesty and bold ways of communicating with the boys?
Signed,
Appalled



Some may say "Chivalry is dead."
It isn't.
There are still "knights" in our society.

So what is chivalry?

Wiktionary:
Chivalry - An ethical code prevalent in Medieval Europe; the honor code of the knight, having such primary virtues as mercy towards the poor and oppressed, humility, honor, sacrifice, fear of God, faithfulness, courage and utmost graciousness and courtesy to ladies.

When I researched the word "chivalry", I found that there were many Codes of Chivalry . I like this one:

The Code of Chivalry
according to the Order of the Rose

Thou shalt defend the innocent.
Thou shalt respect all weaknesses and shalt constitute thyself the defender of them.
Thou shalt love the country in which thou was born.
Thou shalt not recoil before thine enemy.
Thou shalt perform scrupulously the feudal duties.
Thou shalt never lie and remain faithful to thy pledged word.
Thou shalt be generous and give largesse to everyone.
Thou shalt be everywhere and always the champion of the Right and Good and the foe of Injustice and Evil.

What is the Christian Code of Chivalry?

I Corinthians 13:4-7
"Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things."

It also reminds me of the Fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22,23
" But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law."




Chivalry begins in the home. When a boy sees his father treating his mother like a queen, he will learn to respect women.

Opening the door and holding it for others.
Assisting in putting or taking off her coat.
Giving up a chair for her.
Thanking her for a meal or other service.
Complimenting her often.
Giving thoughtful gifts.
Protect by walking or sitting on the outside.
Carrying heavy or cumbersome objects.
Speaking and acting politely.

I Peter 3:1-7 gives a wonderful picture of a sweet married couple.
"Wives, be in subjection to your own husbands...whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; but let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price...
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life."

The woman is not weak, as being inferior, but as being like fine china--treasured and precious.

A young child should be taught and encouraged to practice chivalry with his mother and sisters. Any woman or girl who is treated with respect will feel honored. She will have no need to find ways to gain attention. It becomes a healthy interaction between boys and girls that will carry into strong marriage relationships.

(Thank you, Randy, for being my knight.)