"Dear Vonnie" White Lies

NOTICE: I will be moving my "Dear Vonnie" to Thursdays. Look for "Fun and Families" on each Saturday, with crafts, recipes, and parenting ideas.

Each Saturday, I will do my best to answer your questions. I don't pretend to be an expert, but I know it's not easy being a wife and mother. It can be frustrating and discouraging, yet very rewarding. I'd be glad to listen to you, pray for you, and share some of my thoughts with you.

So, ask me something... anything...

Dear Vonnie,

I saw on TV a discussion on telling “white lies” as a parent. Is there such a thing? Is it ok? The example they used was serving fish and saying it was chicken in order for the child to eat it.

"Lime lips are abomination of the Lord."

(according to 4 yr. old Micah when he saw his green tongue)
(not a picture of Micah...sorry)

As part of our homeschool routine, we were learning a verse from Proverbs each week. That week, it was Proverbs 12:22 "Lying lips are an abomination of the Lord."

The word "abomination" means something that is putrid and disgusting; such as a bird making a deposit on your hot dog. It turns your stomach! You toss it far from you! It's horrible!

That's how God sees lying. He hates it! We should hate it too.

Sin is sin. There are no degrees of sin. A wrong thought is as bad as committing murder. All are an offence to a holy God.

"For whosoever shall keep the whole law,
and yet offend in one point, he is guilt of all."
James 2:10

Lies have a way of tangling us up into knots. One lie will lead to another, until we are so twisted up, we can't get free. It's best not to start with the first little "white lie."

In our home, if a child admitted a wrong doing before they were caught, the punishment was diminished considerably. They may still have to pay for the broken window or do extra chores, but if they lied about the offense, the punishment would be doubled--a normal appropriate discipline, plus more for lying. Any lie was punished harshly and quickly. We wanted to instill in their young minds that it would not be tolerated at all in our home. They all knew the story of "The Boy Who Cried Wolf" very well.

It saddens me to see young kids lie. Some are so good at it, that it's hard to tell the truth from the lie. Some do it so much, that they don't know how to tell the pure truth; they have to embellish it somehow--to make themselves seem stronger or smarter or popular than they really are.

We, as parents, should be trusted to always..ALWAYS... tell the truth to our children. How can they trust us, if we don't? How will we be able to trust them, when they grow into teens, lying when it is convenient?

We should be known as trustworthy honest people.We that call ourselves Christians are examples of Christ to others. We should always tell the truth, no matter what, even to our own hurt.

Now..there are times when we should be quiet if the truth would hurt someone's feelings--if someone has gotten a bad haircut or their clothes don't match--but even then, if asked for your opinion, tell the truth kindly and honestly.

This overlaps last "Dear Vonnie", concerning speaking the truth in love. There are times to be quiet, but if you must speak, do it honestly and lovingly.

Lord, teach us to see sin as You see sin, to hate it and seek to rid it from our lives. Help us to live honest and faithful lives before our children and neighbors. May we wear the name of Christian will honor and strive not to bring dishonor to You. In Jesus' Name, Amen

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