"Dear Vonnie" Mother-Daughter



Each Saturday, I will do my best to answer any questions you may throw at me. I don't pretend to be an expert, but I know it's not easy being a writer, a wife, and mother. It can be frustrating and discouraging, yet very rewarding. I'd be glad to listen to you, pray for you, and share some of my thoughts with you.

So, ask me something... anything...

Dear Vonnie,
How can I successfully cultivate a Godly fruitful relationship with my daughters? My mother and I did not have this relationship during my childhood, therefore I am afraid that I am not doing a good job because of the lack of example. I find myself "pushing" my oldest daughter away when she wants to talk or just hang out with me. It just feels weird to have her "in my space."

Signed,
A Mommy

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~


First of all, I like your attitude. You have chosen to turn from the world's ways; you want to break the circle and do things God's way. It takes strength, God's strength. Only He can overcome the habits and instincts of your flesh. You need to let Him live through you.

"When I am weak, then I am strong." II Cor. 4:10


I can tell that your little girl really loves you, if she wants to "hang" with you. So, you must be doing things well already. Your little girl wants to be like you, to do the things you do, and learn from you. Enjoy it!

But...it's not good for a child to feel that their mother/parent should have to pay attention to them constantly. They should learn to respect their parent's time. They should be able to entertain themselves while you are talking on the phone or cooking supper or talking as husband and wife.

Many times during the day, your daughter will just want to be near you. Give her something to do to "help" you. Let her fold the washcloths, dust the bookshelves, set the table, or sweep the front steps. If you are caring for the baby, let her play with her dolls next to you. It's okay to say, "Mommy is tired right now. Why don't you color for a little while in your room?"

I also suggest that you schedule "girl time" with your daughter. Try to make it the same time each day, maybe while the younger ones are napping. Play a game; make some cookies; read a book; sing some songs. There are dozens things you could do together. Special time with Daddy is nice too. Maybe he can take her out to breakfast or to the library or park.

Treasure these first few years. They go by so quickly. Soon she will be going to school and spending her time with friends. This time, your time, with her is precious. Be grateful for everyday you have with your babies. They grow up quickly.

Dear Lord, I pray for this mother and others who want to make the most of the time with their children. I pray that you will give them patience and wisdom. Show them the wonderful treasures that you have entrusted to them for only a few years. In Jesus' Name, Amen

1 comment:

Slowly Dying.. said...

Thank you. I want to try these things and I will let you know how it goes.

smooches,
Larie

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