"Dear Vonnie" Bitter Feelings

Each Saturday, I will do my best to answer any questions you may throw at me. I don't pretend to be an expert, but I know it's not easy being a wife and mother. It can be frustrating and discouraging, yet very rewarding. I'd be glad to listen to you, pray for you, and share some of my thoughts with you.

So, ask me something... anything... **Contact Me**

Dear Vonnie,
What do I need to do to rid myself of harboring hateful thoughts towards my husband's mother and oldest brother? I feel as if I am competting with my mother-in-law, this is one reason that I call myself...
'Slowly Dying 2 Self'


First of all, I'm impressed with your "name". Not many Christians learn this truth of realizing that their old nature is dead, and that it is Christ living through them.

"I am crucified with Christ, nevertheless I live, yet not I, but Christ that liveth in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh, I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me." Galatians 2:20

That is the whole key to how we deal with situations in our day by day life. We need to look at people and things the way God would look at them. Are we manifesting the fruits of the Spirit..."love, joy, peace, etc."? Are we listening to Him, and letting Him shine through us?

I know from experience that it is a continual, day by day, process that will not be complete until we are with Him, without this fleshly body and emotions. Hopefully, as we continue to repent of our failures and turn our problems over to Him, that it will be quicker and easier as we mature.

Concerning your husband's mother, think of her as someone who loves her son and her grandchildren. Pray for her, willingly love her (even when it is hard), find ways to do kind things for her. If she criticises you or your ways of cooking or raising your children, hold your tongue. Don't argue or defend your actions. (I know it's very hard!)

My father taught me how to silence those who like to debate and argue... by quietly, simply state your postition or opinion, then don't say anymore. They can't argue with silence.

If your mother-in-law brings up a touchy point, change the subject to be polite and friendly. Find some things that you do agree on or have in common. Ask her advice, if there is something she does well and you would like to learn.

Finally, be comforted and "hide" in the thought that you are doing the things that your husband and the Lord would have you do...and that's what counts. Don't ever be ashamed of doing what's right.

I just read this verse today, and I think it is for you, right now.

"But thou, O Lord, art a shield for me; my glory,
and the lifter up of mine head."
Psalm 3:3

Dear Lord, I pray for this wife. I pray that she will put you first in her life and rest in You and in her husband. I pray that she will learn to love her mother-in-law and brother with Your love. Give her patience and peace and the blessing of seeing You work in lives. In Jesus' Name, Amen

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