Part 3: Twenty-Two's

The last few weeks, I've discussed that the hardest ages of raising children are the ages two, twelve, and twenty-two.

A toddler wants to be independent and will throw a tantrum, hoping to get his own way. I said that it was a frustrating confusing time for him, not a baby anymore and yet still not able to communicate well or do things on their own. He needs to learn to obey, but also needs to given a few chores to make him feel like a big boy.

The twelve year old, or tween, is in a similiar situation. She is not a little kid anymore, but not quite a teenager yet. Her body is changing and so are her moods. She wants to be treated as a young lady, but still enjoys the privileges given to a young child. She needs controlled choices and the chance to show her maturity.

A twenty-two (or the time just past high school)is very much the same. He wants the world to know he's a man and can do things on his own, but he's still young and unexperienced. He still needs his father for advice and his mother for comfort. He's going to make mistakes and you need to stand by and pray he doesn't get hurt too badly before he learns.

Your daughter tries out new fashions and buys the newest appliances and gadgets. She thinks she has a better system of budgeting or cooking than you....and maybe she does. She may want to travel and see the world before she settles down. Again, you have to let her go and pray that God protects her.

Our children were given to us for just a little while. They really belong to God, but He chose us to be the parents of these particular ones. He let us love them and teach them and enjoy a few years with them before they are old enough to be on their own. We have to let go, and let God teach them now. There will be times we may have the privilege of still advising them and helping them, but they are responsible to God for the decisions they make. We must pray and trust that they will listen to Him just like they listened to us.

By Yvonne Blake

Like images in mirrors,
Children seem to be,
But they’re never exactly
What we expected to see.

We comb the unruly parts
And wipe the smudged places,
But the more we “fix” them,
Individuality erases.

Obedient and responsible
We hope they’ll be good,
But they never quite become
What we thought they should.

They’re learning and growing
And we pray they’ll see,
It’s not what we want
But what God wants them to be.


Laury said...

Thanks for this advice, Vonnie. My daughter is 21 and exactly like you write here. Love your poem, too. I wouldn't want to erase her individuality. Miss reading your blogs. Hopefully my internet will be up and running again soon.

LauraLee Shaw said...

Incredible wisdom and a beautiful poem! Your advice is a blessing.

Anonymous said...

I really like your poem, Mrs. Blake. :)



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